Chapman,
Today is October 31, 2012. There’s nothing special about today -- well, I suppose it is Reformation Day and Halloween, and we’ll celebrate those when you wake up from your nap this afternoon. (You’re going to be a dog for Halloween this year, by the way. You’ve been obsessed with dogs for about as long as you’ve been able to be interested in anything at all. When I asked what you wanted to be for Halloween, and gave you a few options, “dog” was the word you repeated back to me. So, a dog you shall be...and a cute one at that.) But, today isn’t a special day other than that -- you’re not some important age on this day. Nothing sets today apart, really. I just wanted to write a letter to you and to the future version of myself who may stumble upon it again one day. I mainly wanted to create a snapshot (in words) of where we are right now in life, because it’s a pretty beautiful place, and I want to remember it. And, I know you won’t remember much (if any) of this stage of your life as you grow older. So, maybe it will be fun for you to glance back at this “snapshot” a few years down the road.
You’re about 19 months old right now. Hurricane Sandy just passed through early this week, and your Dad had a couple of extra days off of work because of it. The winds and rain were not so strong that it was worrisome for us, so we just got to spend some extra time together -- an unexpected 4 day weekend hunkered down in the house together. You have so much energy at this age that coming up with things to do around the house can be difficult, but we make it work. You challenge me in good ways. Your energy and zest keep me on my toes -- always trying to be creative with new ways to help you channel all of the enthusiasm God has given you. :)
You love, love, love hugs and kisses. They might be your favorite things right now. Especially bear hugs. And, son, you give the BEST hugs. You wrap your arms around us tight, and hug so hard you shake. And, when we tell you we love you, you often walk over to us for a kiss, because a kiss should always follow an “I love you.”
Today, you wanted to play a wonderful game. You wanted me to lift you onto the bed, which you call, “pillow”, but you pronounce it, “piwoow,” and we love it. I guess a bed is sort of like a giant pillow -- I get it. But, you wanted me to lift you up onto the bed so that you could pretend to sleep and snore next to me. You like to pretend snore -- you think it’s funny. And, I agree -- it is pretty cute and funny. You laid down next to me and we both pretended to sleep with our foreheads touching. I opened my eyes to find your little eyes looking back at me, big smile on your face, and it was one of those moments that I just wished I could freeze and go back to over and over again throughout life. Just one of those wonderful, sweet, routine moments of motherhood/toddlerhood that I love. This phase has its challenges for sure. I feel so stretched and inadequate for the task at hand many days, but more than that, I love you like crazy, so getting to be your mother feels like such a great privilege and blessing.
Another of those “snapshot” moments that I wanted to freeze and carry with me forever came when I was rocking you to sleep two nights ago. Normally, we would read a few books to you in the rocker at bed time, and you would fall asleep while we were reading. On this night, though, you just wanted me to hold you -- no books. I think you have a tooth coming in, and you have been not quite yourself. You wanted to just press your forehead into my mouth for kisses, and you finally fell asleep that way. Poor guy -- I think you had a headache. But, as you drifted off to sleep, I sat there, staring at your sweet chubby cheeks, your long eyelashes, and your sweet, chubby little nose, smelling your hair and your head, and I thought, “soon, he won’t smell like this anymore, and those chubby little baby features won’t be so chubby and baby-like anymore.” I wanted to freeze that moment and come back to it over and over again. But, we don’t get to do that, I guess. Time marches on. Babies grow into children who grow into men. And, I pray that I get the opportunity to watch you grow into manhood, and that you are a man planted and rooted in the truth of the Gospel. But, I do thank God today for chubby cheeks and noses, for pretend snores, long baby eyelashes, and for whatever it is that makes a baby’s head smell so daggone wonderful. The hardness of this stage (toddlerhood) sometimes makes the sweetness of it feel that much sweeter. And, there is a lot of sweetness to savor.
Love,
Mom
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