15 Ways To Charm Her

I was just looking back through some old Southern Living magazines (looking for good recipes to try, and organizing them to be packed away in the new office), and I ran across a fun little article/editorial of sorts. You see, while Virginia itself is not the most southern of states anymore, culturally speaking, parts of it still are. I've watched with a bit of sadness as my state becomes less and less genteel, and more and more like a northern city -- hurried, bustling, and rude. (Not that there isn't rudeness in the south -- it is generally just of a more sly sort, less overt.) Anyway -- the town and family that I was raised in were, culturally, still quite southern. Maybe it was that it was still a small town, but we all knew one another. We struck up conversations with the people that we saw at the post office and grocery store (once we got a grocery store...that happened while I was in high school). We graduated from high school mostly with the same people that we started kindergarten with. There was one high school in the town, and many in the town came out to cheer on the football team on Friday nights, even if they didn't have children in high school at the time. My grandmother lived next door to me throughout my entire childhood, and having formerly run a charm school out of her home, she saw fit to teach me proper entertaining etiquette each time I was around the house while she was preparing for company. I remembered some of it into adulthood, though I wish most of it were in written form so that I could consult Grandma's Manual for Etiquette when entertaining these days, now that she is gone. I could go on and on with examples, but you get the point. I was raised to appreciate the etiquette, hospitality, and basic good manners that are often associated with the south. Not that I'm great at them. But, I was raised to try, because that's just what you do. I think my grandmother could have a few things to teach modern day Virginia men and women. I think she'd approve of the following article. I won't write out the whole thing, but I will include the whole list (maybe with a few notes from me here and there). :)

15 Ways to Charm Her -- Ways to Impress a Southern Girl
By Amy Bickers

"Number one: we still expect you to give up your seat for a lady. On a bus, at a bar, on a train...we don't care where you are. Unless you are at a restaurant and the only lady in sight is the one taking your order, stand up. Now.

On a recent Friday night at a bustling restaurant bar, two friends and I waited for our table to be called. The barstools were occupied so we stood patiently, sipping wine and chatting about the workweek. When a a couple nearby stood up, another woman -- who had been there less time than we had -- swooped in, reaching across us to put her purse on the stool. This isn't the worst part. It's what happened next: Her male companion then slid onto the other barstool. Hang on while I do a geography check. Are we not in the South? If ladies are waiting for a seat and you have a Y Chromosome, do you sit down? No, sir. No, you do not. "

She later continues with a list, saying, "We still expect you to...
1. Stand up for a lady. Actually, this doesn't just involve chairs.
2. Know that the SEC has the best football teams in the nation. Big 12 fan? Hmmm, perhaps you should keep walking. (Note from Suzy: Not going to lie -- I know next to nothing about college football, so this one is lost on me, too.)
3. Kill bugs. Delta Burke as Southern belle Suzanne Sugarbaker on Designing Women said, "...Ya know,...when men use Women's Liberation as an excuse not to kill bugs for you. Oh, I just hate that! I don't care what anybody says, I think the man should have to kill the bug!"
4. Hold doors open.
5. Fix things or build stuff. I once watched in awe as my stepfather built a front porch on the house he shares with my mother. He knew just what to do, cutting every notch, hammering every nail. The project was complete by sunset.
6. Wear boots occasionally. Not the fancy, I-paid-$1,000-for-these kind. We're talking about slightly mud-crusted, I-could-have-just-come-in-from-the-field boots.
7. Take off your hat inside.
8. Grill stuff.
9. Call us. If you want to ask us out, don't text and don't e-mail. Pick up the phone and use your voice.
10. Stand when we come back to the dinner table. 'Just a little half-stand is enough to make me melt,' my friend Stephanie says.
11. Pull out our chairs. Wait, that's not all. Scoot them back in before we hit the floor.
12. Pay the tab on the first few dates. 'If you ask me out, you pay,' Stephanie says. 'If I ask you out,you should still pay.' Listen, guys, it's just simpler this way. (Note from Suzy: Grandma would take this a step further, and tell me that a proper lady never asks a man out. She waits for him to do so.) ;)
13. Don't show up in a wrinkled, untucked shirt. Care about your appearance, but not too much. Don't smell better than we do. Don't use mousse or gel. You shouldn't look like you spend more time in front of the mirror than we do. (Note from Suzy: Alright, this is a little nit-picky, even in my book. But, good basic principles. ;)
14. Never get in bar fights. Patrick Swayze might look cool in Road House, but in reality, bar fights are stupid and embarrassing. You don't look tough. You look like an idiot. (Note from Suzy: Who actually does that???)
15. Know how to mix our favorite cocktail just the way we like it. Fix your favorite too. Sit down on the porch (it's okay if you didn't build it), tell us how your day went, and we'll tell you about ours. (Note from Suzy: I think the general principle here has less to do with knowing how to mix a drink, more to do with the talk on the porch.)