Just Wanna Do Something

I think that it is simply springing forth from a longing for something better, but I am feeling energized, creative, and inspired for the first time in many months. It hasn't just been a case of the first trimester "blah's" that's had me down. It's more than that, stretched over a longer time -- a general sort of realization that I'm not where I wanted to be with so many things, and that so many things around me aren't what I hoped they would be. There are reasons and explanations galore, but this sense of...hmm...maybe disappointment to a certain degree (I search for the right words), is finally leading to a sense of desire to improve what I can. Which is a much better place to be than just disappointed. Amid other little projects in my head, I've been thinking about getting ready for this baby, wondering how we will ever get there in the 20 or so short weeks we have left. The halfway point it just about here, and we're nowhere near ready. Before baby comes, we would like to have our garage finished (yes, that involves some simple interior construction work, and installation of ceilings, walls, floors, moving a door, etc...) And, I think we are doing most of it ourselves. By ourselves, of course, I mean Drew and our family and friends, as pregnant women do not make the most helpful construction workers. :) I'll do what I can -- but, I'm not sure that it will be much.

I just played around with different ideas online last night, and found some great inspiration for how to change our guest bedroom into a nursery. (We'll still have a guest bedroom...just down the hall where the current office is.) And, I must say that etsy.com is a dream for anyone wanting to decorate their home without using the standard pictures and decorations that you see all over places like Target. Don't get me wrong -- those are great -- I have some of them in my own home. But, I love splashing in little pieces that are a bit less predictable to break up the almost-too-perfect look that can come from Target type design. I still haven't quite mastered this. One of my frustrations recently has been with our home. The one room that I have focused on trying to make a little more complete looking (which just means getting some art on the wall, and trying to pull it all together a bit) just hasn't quite worked. I like our house. It just is...um...not "me". It's just not my style. I'm still thankful for it. I'm thankful to have a roof over my head, and a place to live, and our own space that we can change and mold. However, changing space takes quite a bit of money, so it's a slow process. :) Such a long list of things I would like to do -- trade out the old dingy sliding glass door and blinds in our family room for something lighter and brighter (who ever heard of shiny copper mini-blinds?!), finish our garage so we have more useable space, paint the dark, dark kitchen cabinets white and replace the ugly hardware, replace the white countertops so the kitchen doesn't look clinical with white on white :), install crown molding in family and dining rooms that are just begging for it, redo the bright yellow bathroom (it's tile that is yellow...not just paint), etc etc etc... The list goes on and on. I teeter between discontent, and just wanting to create a more beautiful comfortable place to rest and live. I've been sitting in discontent for a while, so the urge to do something is sort of welcome and refreshing.

This post has been sort of all over the place, but I'm sure anyone who has ever owned a home can relate. Ps...the cold is gone! It is so nice to feel well again! The nausea is still hanging around, but it's predictable and controllable with meds at this point, so I suppose that is something to be thankful for.